Thinking about life
I keep having dreams about flying. Not flying as in, through the air, but in a plane. They used to be quite bad dreams. I'm pretty scared of flying and I tended to dream about being on a plane that felt quite military. Last night I had another dream, but it wasn't so bad. I don't know what it means. It's a long time since I flew anywhere. Probably about sex.
I've got four days off which I'm really happy about. I had a lovely wander this morning, did quite a bit of charity shop shopping and generally thinking about life in the sunshine. It's the first really sunny day of the year and that definitely helped me. I feel really creative when the weather is like this (although I do have to be careful not to go over the top). Anyway today I had that feeling, which I miss so much from being unwell, of having loads of ideas, thinking about things in an unusual way and just seeing the possibilities in my life. Something which has been really important to me in my recovery has been to understand that there are things about my mental health difficulties which I do find valuable, and I don't have to let go of them just because I am letting go of the bad bits. Once I did a list of my early warning signs with someone, and she typed them up. When she gave it back to me she had written "be aware that these are signs of being creative too". I think that's so important.
Anyway, I was thinking this morning about my life, and in particular my career. I enjoy the work I am doing at the moment, and I've sort of always assumed that my ambition is to move into working in mental health full time if possible. Anyway, I have become more and more interested in film and theatre in recent years, and I was thinking how nice it would be to be able to work in the arts somehow. Well, the more I thought about it the more this seemed totally achievable. I'm going to sharpen up my cv and apply for a load of part time jobs in the arts - why be miserable in a pub for 15 hours a week when I could be happy in a theatre. Or something like that.
I also thought a lot about wanting to write a book of poems. I told someone about it this week and that's kind of made it seem more real. I'm going to write one poem every Friday until I have enough, start going to a poetry night which they have in a cafe near me, and maybe just maybe, if I get good enough, publish a pamphlet of my own poems. Hooray. Anyway. Mega long post. I doubt if anyone is even reading this by now. Well as a reward for reading my ramblings, here are a couple of pictures. One is the cardigan I got the other day and the other is a mug I got at a charity shop this morning. Score!
I've got four days off which I'm really happy about. I had a lovely wander this morning, did quite a bit of charity shop shopping and generally thinking about life in the sunshine. It's the first really sunny day of the year and that definitely helped me. I feel really creative when the weather is like this (although I do have to be careful not to go over the top). Anyway today I had that feeling, which I miss so much from being unwell, of having loads of ideas, thinking about things in an unusual way and just seeing the possibilities in my life. Something which has been really important to me in my recovery has been to understand that there are things about my mental health difficulties which I do find valuable, and I don't have to let go of them just because I am letting go of the bad bits. Once I did a list of my early warning signs with someone, and she typed them up. When she gave it back to me she had written "be aware that these are signs of being creative too". I think that's so important.
Anyway, I was thinking this morning about my life, and in particular my career. I enjoy the work I am doing at the moment, and I've sort of always assumed that my ambition is to move into working in mental health full time if possible. Anyway, I have become more and more interested in film and theatre in recent years, and I was thinking how nice it would be to be able to work in the arts somehow. Well, the more I thought about it the more this seemed totally achievable. I'm going to sharpen up my cv and apply for a load of part time jobs in the arts - why be miserable in a pub for 15 hours a week when I could be happy in a theatre. Or something like that.
I also thought a lot about wanting to write a book of poems. I told someone about it this week and that's kind of made it seem more real. I'm going to write one poem every Friday until I have enough, start going to a poetry night which they have in a cafe near me, and maybe just maybe, if I get good enough, publish a pamphlet of my own poems. Hooray. Anyway. Mega long post. I doubt if anyone is even reading this by now. Well as a reward for reading my ramblings, here are a couple of pictures. One is the cardigan I got the other day and the other is a mug I got at a charity shop this morning. Score!
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